Woman seeking validation about decisions.

What does seeking validation have to do with your money?

One thing we love more than anything is to be acknowledged. It only takes a few words yet they mean everything.

Some of our most basic needs are safety, love, belonging, and esteem. We are able to satisfy these needs on our own, but it feels so good to get that reassurance from someone else. It is perfectly normal to look to others for external validation when we have a difficult time meeting those needs for ourselves. This can be a very effective strategy to get a quick fix for the reward center of your brain, there is always someone out there willing to give us a boost, and then there are also a couple of sneaky traps lurking underneath the surface.

Validation Trap #1

When we seek others approval to validate our opinion or decision it gives us a sense of immediate relief that we are doing the right thing, and this can temporarily take the heavy burden of responsibility off our shoulders.

The only problem is that we can never trust that that person’s opinion is going to stay the same, or was it even their true and honest thought in the first place…we do love to please and tell people what they want to hear after all.

Validation Trap #2

When that external validation leads you in a direction that is at odds with your values, you know it’s not right. You can feel it in every fiber of your being, and no matter how hard you try, that decision will never be right and you’re left running in circles…AGAIN.

When you are always seeking the OK from others, you never learn to trust your own instincts or figure out what is truly right for you.

What does this have to do with your money?

As a financial coach, I am always looking at how human behavior impacts our financial health and well-being, it’s fascinating. Did you know that there is a direct correlation between your quest for acknowledgment and belonging and how you make financial decisions?

Here are 3 ways that external validation impacts your money:

  • You doubt your own ability to trust your instincts and make smart financial decisions that are right for you.
  • You place your financial well-being in someone else’s hands.
  • You extend your financial knowledge gap even further and become dependent on someone else to make those decisions for you.

You are so smart and you know what you want. Yes, there might be some mistakes along the way, and that is so normal and with every booboo there is a huge opportunity to learn and close that pesky financial knowledge gap for good. With practice and persistence, you get more confident because you did it yourself. You did it!

When you are ready to tap into your instincts and get exactly what you want with confidence, let’s chat.

I help women face their money fears, build self-confidence, and see new possibilities so they can rediscover joy in their lives and love for their work with financial independence and security. Click the link below to learn more and book your FREE Coaching Consultation Call… HollyWallisCoaching.com


Take the Money Mindblock Quiz!

Take this short 5-minute quiz to identify how the invisible wall that your money mindblock creates prevents you from seeing what is in your way and keeps you from achieving the life you want. The key to getting to your next destination is to know exactly where you’re starting from. Start here.

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