Stop ‘Should’-ing on Yourself

I should do more. I should know more. I should be able to control all of this. The pressure just never ends. The To-Do List just goes on and on…ugh!

Every time there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, it is quickly snuffed out with a thousand more things piled on top…or my new favorites: the blind-side and the sucker punch.

WHAM out of nowhere!

Does this sound familiar?

A while back, I took a 4-day mini-vacation as a vacation from my previous vacation (yes, you read that right) because what was meant to be my week of relaxation got completely hijacked by a barrage of work emergencies.

As I was packing up to come home from this second attempt at much-needed rest, a wave of dread washed over me, and my brain went into high gear running through the huge list of what I needed to get done that week…I burst into tears. I just wanted to run and never look back.

That’s when it hit me…Who is placing this impossible expectation on me to get everything done? To be perfect? To be everything to everyone and be ahead of the game ALL THE TIME?

ME! I was doing this to myself, but why?

To feel in control because I felt totally out of control in the mess of right now and the unpredictable of what is yet to come…and really, who knows? I was just stuck on an endless loop of re-hashing the past, scrambling to keep up with today, and trying to predict the future.

WOW, we have an amazing skill for getting in our own way, don’t we?

We place these insanely high expectations on ourselves and the state of the World these days has made them exponentially higher. Just the mere speed of technology has placed a standard on us that is absolutely unachievable. Who needs to sleep?

I expect that I can do the best…be the best in any situation.

I expect that I can overcome any obstacle.

I expect that I can make everyone happy ALL THE TIME.

And I expect that I WILL keep it all together even if I totally want to fall apart.

But all of these expectations just set us up for failure…

This is our own preconceived idea of not measuring up and not being good enough. Our own need to have the validation of others so we run ourselves ragged in hopes that maybe, just maybe, someone will notice.

Well, when I was in the thick of it, someone said this to me and it was exactly what I needed at that exact moment, and I hope this can make all the difference for you too…

The past is the past. All the woulda, shoulda, couldas replaying in your mind will not change what happened, it’s done and over. It’s okay to move on.

The future is unknown. Planning for every possible scenario will still not prepare you for what’s to come, you just have to wait and see…and it might just be amazing.

There is only now. And now there is calm, no expectations, no what ifs, no if onlys.

So breathe, my Friend. You’ll get there. You’ll get it done. Everyone will be okay. You will be okay.

I help women entrepreneurs face their money fears, build self-confidence, and see new possibilities in themselves so they can rediscover the love for their business and joy in their lives knowing they are financially independent and secure. Click the link below to learn more and book your FREE Coaching Consultation Call…

Written by
Holly Wallis, Founder & CoActive Coach
© 2022. All rights reserved.

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