The “If Only”s are holding you back from the life you want

Complete Transcript:

Hello there! So the other day, I noticed my sneaky little brain slipping back in time and replaying all the decisions I had made to get where I am right now.

So many memories came flooding back, good or bad didn’t matter.

Honestly, I can spend hours playing a wicked game of Choose Your Own Adventure with myself to analyze every little scenario and play out ALL the what-ifs and if-onlys.

I find it very fascinating to think that if I had made just one other choice along the way, no matter how little, my life would be completely different, and I wonder how.

Eventually, I snap back to reality and quickly remind myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be because I made those exact choices and I have to say, my life is pretty great.

That is not to say that there were not a LOT of bumps along the way and a bunch of fumbles. There definitely were some major potholes and I’m sure there will be lots more to come but every single one is an opportunity to learn and grow so bring it on.

Because our brains love to play games, it is so easy to get stuck on repeat, even for a few minutes, on that one time you want to do over. If only you had done things differently, said something else, made a different decision, just been different…and it plays over and over and over again as if you have some power to change it.

What is holding us there are those pesky feelings of shame, guilt, and regret, and they hold on for dear life, if we let them. If we do though, we end up living in the past bound to repeat our most shameful moments for all of eternity. As Carl Jung said: “What we resist persists” and does it ever.

The downside of that is that we are pulled right out of the present and unable to look forward to a future where we can make different choices, the ones we WANT to make because we learned from our past.

And that’s the fact right there, we can’t change the past but we can learn from it and choose to do something different in the future.

So the next time you find yourself stuck in the past wishing for a different outcome, take a minute to reflect on the upside, the benefit, or the wisdom that has come from that experience and take that into your future instead.

What I know for sure is that life is not always smooth, and it is the hard stuff that holds the most learning. We just have to be open to the opportunity to explore it from that perspective rather than getting stuck in the “if only”s.

I help women entrepreneurs face their money fears, build self-confidence, and see new possibilities in themselves so they can rediscover the love for their business and joy in their lives knowing they are financially independent and secure. Click the link below to learn more and book your FREE Coaching Consultation Call…

I hope you found this helpful and I will see you again soon.

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